Ugh.

• So sick of hanging up on people with my face when I call them on my cell phone.
• I need to find a headset so I can complain about something else.
• My email everything electronic is totally freakin hosed.
• I didn’t realize, until I broke down last night in a puddle of tears, how much stress I am under – I feel pretty stupid.
• I have had the overwhelming desire to smoke the last few days.
• I’ve resisted, don’t worry.
• I have had super-vivid dreams the last 6 nights, to the point that my sleep is almost totally restless.
• I’m not sure the concealer can hide the bags any more.
• Heck, I’m not even sure I’m going to try.

Sorry about the pitty party. I’m having kind of a rough go. Change is super hard…

[Edited to add: I kicked something and my toe really freakin hurts - this may be the straw people.]

I realize I just did this. I do love my custom, hand drawn masthead – but it’s time for change – and so here I am.

I want a new custom and original masthead that is sleek, chic, modern and fresh – one that uses new colors and will breathe new life into the blog.

I am not limited by size.

I don’t want something ‘childish’ or ‘country kitchen’.

So – if you’re an artist or you know an artist who is looking for some piece work, please use the contact form. Please include links to your current work

Need more info? Ask your questions in comments and I’ll answer here

As has become fairly common around these parts, I’m going to do a basic ‘catch all’ post to cover the things I’ve hinted to earlier in the week, with more depth.

First, I’m going to give an update on my step mom. Earlier this month, she had her left kidney removed because they’d discovered cancer and felt that was the best course of action, based on her medical history. During the surgery, the discovered ‘something concerning to send off to the lab’ and so she was waiting to hear back from that.

Well, she heard back on Friday and the surgeon basically said that there was more cancer than they’d originally thought and they were sending her back to the regular ole non-surgical oncologist.

Naturally, she’s freaked out and so are we. At this point, we’re not sure exactly what it all means, but it most certainly means more treatments. The Dr. made some cursory statements that have basically made us all freak out – but at this point, we’re going to wait until she’s had a chance to speak to her regular oncologist.

So, that’s what the Tweet and Facebook messages were about last week. I certainly appreciate all of the positive vibes/Karma/thoughts/prayers directed her way and I will, of course, update when I know more.

Secondly, you may remember a few weeks ago that I tweeted (at length) about our Chili’s experience. It was awful. I actually had to get on the phone and call the restaurant to request our drinks finally be delivered, this was after having placed our order for both drinks and food and had our food brought to us. It was a real stupid-fest.

At any rate, I sent @Chilis a tweet and told them how unhappy I was and I sent Corporate an email spelling it out in depth.

I never did get any kind of email from Chili’s, which I thought was sort of disappointing, since my contact had been made via email, But when I checked my snail mail yesterday, I discovered they’d sent me a letter and a $20 gift check, so we decided to give it a shot for lunch.

In the end, our service yesterday was much better than the service we’d experienced previously – and when we pulled out the gift checks to pay for our meal, the guy asked us if we’d had a bad experience and if it had been at their location. When I shared our experience with him, he looked at me us and said, “You know, we had retraining this morning and I wondered what had happened – it sounds like we really needed it, so thanks for writing in so we could make your experience better”

It was great that we actually went in on the day they’d done training – but even better was the response from their staff.

So, this is another one of those “bad experiences gone good” – I’m disappointed when I go some place and the service is crap – but I am always happy when I go some place where I’ve told them their service is crap and their service is crappy no more.

Sadly, that never happened with On The Border. Their loss.

In other news – I hinted in comments that someone at work had finally ‘delved deeper’ into the ‘my daughter doesn’t live with me’ statement I had made previously. Basically, she wanted to know who my daughter lived with, since she didn’t live with me. I shared that I had placed her for adoption and that she lived with her mother in the Chicago area and just kind of left it at that. She did ask if we knew each other – which isn’t an a-typical question from people inexperienced with adoption – and I shared a bit about our openness.

It was a great chat. She was super friendly and totally nonjudgmental about it – I didn’t have that ‘crushing guilt’ that usually accompanies these types of conversations. I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about there.

At any rate – I feel much better now – way less apprehensive and a whole ton less worried about how to deal with it going forward.

Finally, I am looking at options to help with productivity in my drive. I’ve got to find a good ear phone/mic option – the Apple Ear Buds don’t work for me – I’ve installed the Dragon Naturally Speaking App on my phone and I’m unsure of one of the Borg-Style Bluetooth Headsets will also work with Dragon. I haven’t been able to find anyone who knows that answer either (Anyone know? Can you use a Bluetooth headset to talk to your ‘voice control’ on an iPhone 4?)

Now, if I could just get my work email on my phone – I need to look into that.

Anyway – that’s pretty much all I have going on right at the moment. Ready to start my week with a bang.

Damnit, I forgot to get gas. Crap.

Well, I’m alive.

It was touch and go there for a minute I think.

Actually, it wasn’t so bad. I enjoyed meeting new people. I really hope to be able to get up to speed on things very quickly.

The processes and procedures are much different than what I’m used to and that scares me. I just need to remember to ask questions.

There’s nothing wrong with that, right?

As for the job – I love it. I do. I think once I’ve found my footing a bit more and I have a better feel for things – I will love it even more.

As for the commute, it is everything I knew it was going to be and more. I need to get an aux jack installed in my car – it’s on the short list of things I want to do, but it hasn’t been far enough up the list to get done – but that’s about to change. Seriously, who decided it was a good idea to make the ‘rush hour’ prime time to trashy radio?

I’m so done with prank calls, nasty jokes and stupid-human-tricks.

Yes, an aux jack is totally moving up the short list.

Overall, I am happy. It is a good thing, as Martha Stewart would say. A very good thing.

This entire post was brought to you by the fact that I failed to hydrate almost all day today, so now I have a dehydration headache – which is awesome!

[Edited to add: I forgot to mention - I'll do a more comprehensive post tomorrow about my step mom and her medical related issues. I tried calling all evening and the phone was off the hook (do people still say that?) so I don't have any real firm or updated info. Good karma is, as always, appreciated.]

I’m tired.

I want to go to bed.

But first, let me tell you about my day:

• Took the totally wrong way to work this morning – and as a reward, I got to sit in traffic for 1.5 hours. It was so awesome – I think I might take my camera just so I can shoot some pictures of some of the stupidity I see in the morning. I’d forgotten what commuting in traffic was like. Woo hoo.
• Got flipped off twice before I even got on the highway after leaving the office this afternoon – I’m pretty sure they weren’t offers/requests – but more like suggestions. I have no idea what I did to deserve it, but whatever.
• I got on the highway and drove home, only to take the wrong exit, have to go four miles out of my way, in traffic, while in a hurry.
• Went to the mall to buy a shirt, had zero luck.
• Got home and found the following things broken or on their way to being broken: Jerrett’s glasses, the washing machine and my hot water heater.
• Decided that I’d pretend my give a damn was busted and not worry about, so I started to iron a few things. Guess what? I got one shirt ironed and, yes, my iron stopped working.

You know what I need?

More stress.

Yup – that’s just what I need.

But  it’s gonna be ok – because this is *all* I had to deal with today

Most all of you know what that last sentence means.

Oh and I’m totally taking my camera tomorrow. I am, you watch.