Well, we’ve got just about two weeks to go until John comes home. I’m really excited. I’d be more excited if I wasn’t writing this at 4 AM, but generally speaking — my excitement level is pretty high. We’ve got a lot to do and I’m really starting to freak out over my ability vs. our need.

I’m still really struggling with the side effects of the Prednisone, which they put me back on two months ago. Most specifically, the edema, which makes it really difficult to do anything but keep my feet up for hours at a time. I also struggle with insomnia. I’m getting 1-3 hours of sleep per night and I’m trying to get 1-2 hours during a day time nap — but it’s hard to get restful sleep when you’re waking up every 30 or so minutes to void the retained fluid from the day before.

So, in addition to the stress of the move, I have the added stress of worrying about having a shit-ton of stuff left for John to do when he gets home in two weeks. We already have a short list running of things he’ll need to work on…but if we start adding to much more to that, we may end up running into problems.

I hope not.

So, what’s left? Let’s do a walk through and see: (This is a working list – I’m marking it off as I get it done )

Kitchen/Dining Room

• Pack the dishes, cups, glasses and cutlery
• Paint the ceiling
• Deep clean the cabinets, counters, oven and stove top
• Touch up the baseboards in a few places
• Deep clean the floor, including moving the appliances

Living Room

• Pack electronics
• Vacuum and roll up rug
• Vacuum sofa
• Move book cases, sofa table and ottoman to the garage
• Move remaining furniture (sofa, media center) to the center of the room
• Clean baseboards
• Paint baseboards
• Paint the ceiling
• Deep clean the floor, including grout lines in entry floor mosaic

Hallway/Laundry Room

• Clean baseboards and trim
• Paint baseboards and trim
• Replace door knob on office door
• Deep clean the floor, including moving washer/dryer

Office

• Pack my desk/Printer station
• Rearrange the shelving/closet unit to be a functional closet rather than boxed storage
• Move furniture out
• Sweep/mop

Jerrett’s Room

• Move all the furniture out
• Clean baseboards
• Paint baseboards
• Touch up paint where needed
• Replace switch covers/plug covers
• Sweep/mop
• Paint the ceiling

Guest Bath

• It’s a boys bathroom – it needs to be completely sanitized.

Master Bed/Bath

• Clean baseboards in bath
• Paint baseboards in bath
• Vacuum and roll up rug in bedroom
• Touch up paint behind headboard
• Sweep/mop

All of this, in addition to one last really good round of yard work – mow, edge, weed and sweep. I also have some random packing to do — I’ve got a few things left out that needs to be packed away. I’m going to be moving all of our furniture out to the garage, mostly so I have access to baseboards/flooring as needed.

This also doesn’t include some of the things I can’t do — like climb into the attic and remove the gable fan, adjust the nozzles on the sprinkler system and there is something else on our Google Docs list that I can’t seem to recall…

I’m just not sure what I’m going to do…I would love to have the strength and energy to knock out a lot of this — and really, so much of it looks *easy* — but I am just struggling so hard with this medication transition. I really hate the side effects of steroids, but I hate them even more when my body has to re-acclimate itself to getting them.

Anyway, doing a list like this was a huge help the last time I needed to get some stuff done — so maybe it’ll prove helpful this time around.

And of course, you’re well wishes and stories of commiseration are always welcome…

Two weeks! Yay!

Ugh.

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Well, it’s that time again. Time for a Tuesday post. The trend hasn’t really caught on, but I think it will. I mean, how can it not? It’s a pretty great concept! Maybe it needs a button or something? Promises of backlinks for those who participate?

Who knows, the internet is a weird, strange place.

Anyway, down to business:

Two things about me today:

• Yesterday, at about 1 PM, I started feeling bad. By 3 PM, my I was starting to wonder if I’d be able to make it home and by 4:15, I got worried enough about making it home, I decided to just go ahead and leave. By the time I got home, I had a major headache and the edema was so bad in my lower portions, my toes had started to turn blue. I ended up laying in bed, doing nothing, all evening. I have no idea what I did yesterday to piss off my body, but I am going to try like hell to not do it again. That was not fun!
• Today, I still have a pretty significant headache – which I’m hoping will pass as I get up and move around some. Health-wise, I’ve been doing pretty good – so this is kind of a setback I wasn’t expecting. At least at this point, I’m not yellow. Being yellow makes it significantly more difficult to fake it…

Two things about my family:

• I wrote yesterday that Jerrett set a password on his computer and now he can’t remember it. Update: He still can’t remember it – he spent the better part of two hours last night trying to remember it…and nope.
• Sometimes, I swear that my house has been overrun in an zombie apocalypse. All the boys do is watch zombie movies, play zombie games and more recently, talk about zombies.

Two random things: (because I need to get a move on this AM)

• As the weeks pass, I discover more and more stuff that falls under my area of responsibility at work. I’m not sure how I feel about that just yet…aside from incredibly busy.
• The headache I talked about in the second bullet? It’s gotten worse…and I’m starting to swell. I can tell, because I have liquid leaking from my eyes. This is so awesome.

FML

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3. Some Medical Stuff, Some Life Stuff & Some Randomness

I just need to say a couple of things:

• I’ve created a Facebook Fan Page (Like page? Whatever.) for the blog. I will say here what I said on Facebook – I created it to support the App that makes liking each post on the blog possible, rather than just the blog, over all. Seriously – I’d be honored if you ‘Liked’ me – but that isn’t why I created the page…I’m not looking for affirmation
• I patted out hamburgers this morning and my hands smell like…well..not quite hamburgers. I guess they smell more like Worcestershire Sauce (you should all know, I totally nailed the spelling of Worcestershire without spell check. This is a big day for me).
• The trashcan in the kitchen is so full, I can’t fit anything else in it. I know it’s passive aggressive and wrong of me to lay the trash on the floor beside the can – but I’m ok with that. Well, I am now, since the dog is outside.
• Jerrett decided he was going to be cool and password protect his computer. He forgot the password and I’m having a really good time watching him freak out about it.
• I think that grocery stores mark up food way higher than they should – so that when you go through the line to pay and you swipe your little ‘club card’ – it makes you feel good that you saved money you probably shouldn’t have had to pay in the first place.
• Don’t even get me started on the fact that half the produce in the produce section was moldy/gross looking
• Also? This is a picture of the ceiling tile above the cheese section of my local Fry’s Foods in Mesa, AZ. Note the date. I was just there yesterday – the tile is still there, just like that. Freakin gross.
• I guess they can’t afford the ceiling tile replacement, since they opened their new “Flagship Store” in Phoenix. It has a piano bar.

Ok – now I really need to go…I feel better tho. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning…so frustrating!

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A few weeks ago, Dawn did a Tuesday two post and I thought it was a fantastic idea! I don’t know if she’ll do it again this week, but she totally should. Maybe if someone else joins in, she’ll see what a great idea this is

Don’t tell her I said this, but I’m always so inspired by her writing – even the hard stuff.

At any rate, here are my two’s

Two things about me today:

1. I am big on trying to fit in and it really doesn’t matter how much I try, I am NOT going to be able to fit this plus size girl in those cute little clothes…so I’ll be glad when I finally come to the realization that this is the case – so I can get back to being comfortable in my jeans, Nikes and t-shirts.
2. I am sorely disappointed to report, the bumps on my chin (and under my arms) are back – I think I’ve come to the conclusion that they are a result of to much heat + the steroids. That makes sense, right? Because I have no idea why they could be coming back now!

Two things about my family:

1. I am SO proud of John and the steps he’s taken to improve himself. He’s been really fantastic with helping out, since the job change last month. He’s still taking the Paxil – even after a discussion with his Dr. I am on the fence about how that makes me feel.
2. The kid managed to spend $23.00 on school lunches two times last week. He’s buying friends, which makes me sad…but not sad enough to not be angry over the fact that he’s gone well beyond the allotted $3.50 per day – so guess what he’s having for lunch fr the rest of the month? You guessed it! Whatever he fixes and takes with him. So done with the lunch drama!

Two things about my job:

1. I love it. I’m getting the hang of things, but I’m still finding that there are things I didn’t know I needed to do, that I need to do. I’m also finding my groove regarding organization. What worked at my last job, doesn’t work here – for obvious reasons – namely, the sheer amount of content that comes in is staggering in comparison – but also because I’ve got so many different areas to juggle, which isn’t something I ever had to worry about before, because of the ‘one track mind’ mentality. At any rate – things are going really well and I’m really happy.
2. I’m still really struggling with the ‘ask permission for everything’ mentality of my last job and the ‘you wouldn’t work here if we didn’t trust you to do your job without having a micro-manager’ of this job. I find that I ask permission for some of the most random and obvious things – I just hope that my boss continues to understand that you three years of programming will take a bit of deprogramming in that regard. Also? It’s so nice to be trusted to do my job…

Two things I want to focus on doing better or changing this week:

1. I’d really like to get into the grove of being myself. I need to get to a place where jeans and t-shirts are ok – it’s a requirement for my mental health!
2. I’d like to come up with something to do for this weekends Kitchen Experiment that doesn’t involve cups upon cups upon cups of sugar . Maybe a casserole or something – the idea behind it was to try new things and what it’s turned into is an excuse to EAT CAKE! Not that there is anything wrong with cake…but…well, I’m sure you understand.

So, there we go – my Two Things. Maybe if this goes well, I’ll do it again next Tuesday

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2. I Had A Swell Day – Seriously =)
3. List Post? Yes, please!

I am going to list post because, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to form a functional and coherent thought that will translate into an actual flowing monologue – so instead, you get this random soliloquy about my week.

I’m sorry in advance…

I woke up at 5 AM on a Saturday morning. What I really should be doing, instead of writing this blog, is pulling together a grocery list and going shopping before the hordes and hordes of people inundate my local grocery chain and make the experience one that sucks in monumental proportions.

Man it was hot here yesterday. I think people expect it to automatically start cooling down all across the country when September arrives, but it sure doesn’t here. The record high was 112 for yesterdays date – I just tried to see if we reached that yesterday, but I’ve given up. You’ll just have to understand that I’m still working on my first cup of coffee, so some things must be sacrificed.

So, how come every time I sit down to write up my meal plan or whatever, it seems like I just take the foods we normally eat and move them around to different parts of the week? How can I introduce new foods that are equally easy and good? It seems we’re stuck in a ‘go-to-food’ rut. I really *need* to go grocery shopping, but I also don’t want to buy the same things over and over again.

Is it just me or does it seem like the Blog Comment Spammers came out in full force on on Sept 1 and haven’t stopped yet? Of my several blogs (and the blogs I support) I’ve gotten 50-100 spam comment notification emails per day.

I need to go see if I can find some meal ideas so I can go to the store. Plus, I can’t seem to concentrate, so this post is really starting to suck.

I need to figure out what I’m going to do for the kitchen experiment too…arf

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Ugh.

• So sick of hanging up on people with my face when I call them on my cell phone.
• I need to find a headset so I can complain about something else.
• My email everything electronic is totally freakin hosed.
• I didn’t realize, until I broke down last night in a puddle of tears, how much stress I am under – I feel pretty stupid.
• I have had the overwhelming desire to smoke the last few days.
• I’ve resisted, don’t worry.
• I have had super-vivid dreams the last 6 nights, to the point that my sleep is almost totally restless.
• I’m not sure the concealer can hide the bags any more.
• Heck, I’m not even sure I’m going to try.

Sorry about the pitty party. I’m having kind of a rough go. Change is super hard…

[Edited to add: I kicked something and my toe really freakin hurts - this may be the straw people.]

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I haven’t done a list post in some time and with all the transition going on, I have  a lot to talk about – so let’s get this party started, shall we?

• The kid went to Texas, rather unexpectedly, last Saturday. He came home yesterday. I sure enjoyed being ‘childless’ for a week. It’s a break we don’t get to often with family being so far away.
• My stepmom is having surgery next week. She is having a kidney removed because they found cancer in it. I’m really hoping everything goes well. It’d be great if you could keep her in your thoughts too
• It’s been super humid here in the Phoenix area for the last three days. My hair isn’t made for this, but it certainly has made for some interesting weather.
• I really hate taking Prednisone – I hate what it does to my face/skin at non-therapeutic levels.
• The cat bite from last week is doing really well. In fact, I am typing using all of my fingers, which is awesome, because Thursday-Saturday was super hard. I can’t bend the knuckle all the way, but I do have use of it – and the redness/inflammation that is indicative of infection has almost totally gone away.
• I think I’m going to wear jeans today. It’s supposed to be a cool 100 degrees – but I got some new jeans I want to ‘test drive’.
• We cleaned out the kids room this weekend while he was gone. It was a mess. I like doing that about once a year – it gives me a chance to get rid of a bunch of junk, since he’s a collector.
• When cleaning, we actually found a book on ‘collecting’ and both laughed.
• I am super anxious about starting my new job. It’s kind of like the first day at a new school, only for grownups.
• The rain has caused our house to make some interesting noises. The noise I just heard sounded pretty ominous – like cracking/breaking cement. Man would that suck.
• The cat that bit me is back in front of my house this morning (I just saw him/her) – which means, the owners elected to go pick him/her up from the animal control place then bring him/her home and let him/her wander around outside some more.
• It also means they have decided not to call me regarding the bite. I’m sure that’s because they assume I’ll sue or something – which I won’t, since my finger didn’t fall off or anything like that.
• I wonder if I should call animal control again? Not a big fan of having the crazy biting cat hanging out in my front yard (oh wait, never mind, she’s in my back yard now…awesome).
• I think the kid and I are going to go to Sunsplash on Friday. Maybe. Ugh. Bathing suit.
• Medical update: Feeling pretty good – I think a lot of that is due to the reduction in stress though. Seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and knowing it’s not a fast moving train really does make a difference.

That’s all I got for now folks. I’m hanging in there – hoping the next two weeks go smooth and fast.

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1. Post-It Notes From The Edge*
2. I’m Still Here, It’s Just Harder
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Everyone loves a list post, yay!

• Dermatology Dr. was uneventful – turns out I have fungal infection. Turns out, it’s not minor. Turns out, when I called and said I needed an appointment and the lady said “three weeks” and I said, “Ok, but there is definitely something going on and I kind of need to see him PDQ, if there is a cancellation, can you please call me, I’m just across the street and I can be there in like 3.8 minutes” I should have, instead, told her I needed to get in sooner? I don’t know – I’m confused…I thought I’d done that. Oh well. I’ve got cream and if that doesn’t work, I get to go to Mayo…where they don’t accept my insurance, yay! Ugh.
• Came home last night and decided to inquire about refinancing the house, to take advantage of the low interest rate. Ended up jumping in with both feet and decided overnight, that probably wasn’t a good idea, given everything else currently going on – so I’m putting that on hold for 4 weeks.
• Last night at 1 AM, my dog became that dog. You know the one I mean…the dog in your neighborhood that bark, bark, barks all night long for no reason that can be identified other than to be a utter and complete nuisance. I got up, fed her, gave her water, let the cat in, in case the cat being out in the backyard was really creating a spacial problem for her and basically told her to shut up before I turn her into some delicious fajitas. It worked, for an hour and 34 minutes. She started again at 2:34 – only this time, for about 5 minutes. She was quiet until 4:06 and after a night of being up and down and not being able to sleep, I finally said screw it.
• I’ve got some other news. It’s good.
• I get to go back to the regular lab this week rather than the hospital lab. And I only have to go twice. I like that a lot better.
• My hair is finally long enough to wear in a pony tail – so why am I really itching to cut it off?
• My stepmom, who I love dearly, is going to the surgical oncologist tomorrow to find out more about having her kidney removed. She has cancer in her left kidney and they’re at the stage now where they’re trying to make decisions about the next steps (surgery, radiation, chemo). If you’ve got a minute, a spare thought/prayer for her would be great.
• The old man totally ignored me for two hours last night while playing video games – the kitchen was a mess (and is still a mess this morning) and the threat I made last week about finding a cleaning person didn’t seem to make an impact – I guess it’s time to actually put the plan in motion. Ugh.
• I finally deleted over 500 ‘Server Down’ text messages from my phone this weekend. It’s really annoying, because each message is given a unique ID from which it comes – so it’s not like I had 500 stacked messages – I had 500 individual messages that required me to click “Edit” then “Delete” 500 times. It was a good time.
• I’ve got to do some shopping this weekend – would love some ‘live feedback from the dressing room’ – if anyone is interested. I really suck at clothes shopping and I *gotta* do this!

That’s pretty much all I got right now. I’m working on my second cup, about to go take a shower and then head into the office a little early.

Yay @ Good news tho – super excited

*Today’s blog title is brought to you by my inability to think of something meaningful to title this post

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Well, it’s Tuesday. I don’t know what that means exactly, except that it’s the second (or third, depending on your views) day of the week. I’m going to list post – it’s just easier and we have a lot of ground to cover folks:

• I am officially ‘faking it’ today. I have to because I really need to go to work. So, if you look at me today and see me smiling, don’t misunderstand that for feeling better…because I don’t. I wish I did, but I don’t.
• I was so sick yesterday I didn’t end up going to work – I ended up going to the hospital for labs so my Dr. could get a stat reading on my AST/ALT numbers – the result was “Ugh, seriously Brandy, what in the hell is wrong with you?! Up your steroids some more and go back every morning this week for a new reading. I’m trying to go out of town here damnit!” (Don’t you just love Dr.’s?)
• My chair is lose or something because when I move it makes a noise that’s really high pitched and it’s driving me crazy.  I really should get that old man of mine to flip it over and take a look at it before I go tumbling to the floor – which would be equally funny and sad – but only if there were a camera rolling, because without the camera, it’d just be sad.
• I wish there were a way to block someone on Twitter without unfollowing them. Honestly, there are a couple of people that just send me round the bend – but the fallout from unfollowing them would be so dramatic and moronic – it’s just not worth the effort – so instead, I read their tweets, roll my eyes and move on.
• One of my biggest pet peeves is lack of communication and/or lack of response to emails, but I find that I’m becoming ‘that person’ because my ‘give a crap’ meter has finally broken after being pegged out for the better part of five years.
• The very worst part of freelance work/contract work for me is having a client who never has time to talk about their project and when they do, they expect you to drop everything you’re doing to be available for them – I used to play that game and I think I’m finally at a point now where I’m done. This can apply to so many parts of my life
• Sick or not sick, this weekend I will paint several rooms in my house. I’m getting sick of looking at them and wishing they’d paint themselves.
• The old man installed a ceiling fan in the kitchen this weekend – best decision ever. It gets hot in there when/if I cook.
• Do you ever find that you sensor your thoughts/feelings when you blog? I do and I hate that.
• The old man’s allergies are killing him. You’d think, it being the end of June and it being eleventihundred degrees outside, the problem wouldn’t be as bad – but it seems to be getting worse!
• I wish I knew what my life’s calling was. It’d make this journey I’m on so much easier.
• I remember when I used to think I knew what it was…and I was doing it. That was so awesome.
• It’s true what they say about loving your job and never working a day in your life…of course, when something happens and it goes away – it’s like a death in the family.
• I just sent an email to the old man and the kid about helping around the house. I’ve drawn my line in the sand – they can either get with it or pay for someone to come ‘get with it’ for them – I’m not the effing maid around here and I’m getting sick of it (on top of already being just plain old freakin sick).

Well, I’ve got a crap ton of things to do today – go to the hospital for labs, go to work, come home and be a bitch on wheels.

*sigh*

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1. I Love A Clean Kitchen – Seriously!
2. I Think I Can!
3. A Quick Little Update

Yay! List Post! Woo Hoo!

• How about that weather, huh? Man, if you live in the valley, you saw a rare phenomena on Saturday – that wet stuff falling from the sky, it’s called rain. Don’t be afraid.
• After much hard work, I think I might finally be able to put one of my client jobs to bed. That feels damn good.
• I woke up early yesterday, because the cable guy was coming. He came, fixed the problem and then left. Two hours later my cable was out again. We called him, he came back, fixed it and so far, it’s working fine. *fingers crossed*
• I think one of the new trees we planted in the backyard is dying. That makes me sad
• I went to the Mesa Car Show on Saturday – the weather was perfect. Here is my favorite shot from Saturday (click to make larger):

• The subject was beautiful – it was painted my very favorite color of gray/blue – I got tons of pictures, but I really liked this one a lot.
• I ended up in the hospital last night again. My nose started bleeding for no reason – and naturally, I couldn’t get it to stop.
• Today, I had a headache for the better part of the day – but because I spent yesterday at the car show when I should have been working…I had to work anyway – I know, that’s what I get LOL.
• I really love the voice of the singer in the band The Great Divide – to bad they didn’t make it – I really like them a lot.
• The old man made dinner tonight, because I’ve spent the day locked up in my home office. I should do that more often – that was good dinner.

That’s really all I have today – my brain is so numb, I can hardly function – so I should cut out now, before I start singing some old Jimmy Buffett song…

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