Why It Sucks Being a 9ft Tall Girl

Most of you who read here know me. You either know me in real life or you know me from my various adventures online. Either way, most everyone who reads here know that I’m a big girl.

About a year ago, I went on the hunt for some plus size, tall jeans. It’s a tall order – let me tell you. For some reason, people who make clothes think that women who wear a size *cough* twenty-something *cough* are four feet and nine inches tall. I’m not kidding. Want a laugh? I’ve actually purchased jeans off the rack and worn them as capri’s. I have. Please don’t call the Fashion Police. Anyway, I’m out hunting for jeans and I walk into a Lane Bryant. In the past, Lane Bryant and I have had a love hate relationship…I like some of their T-Shirts, their socks and sometimes, their under-things. Their pants? Holy freaking Bell Bottoms. Their shirts? Well, they’re ok if your waist starts where your bra ends – in other words, they’re typically to short for me.

I digress.

So, I go in. The sales chick explains to me that they have this new ‘sizing structure’ for their jeans. She explains that they now make jeans in sizes that, in combination with specific colors, are designed to fit you better. I’m all for a better fit I say, point me in the right direction.

So sales chick takes me to the corner and says, “You look like a red” – “Fantastic!” I say…”Give me a red!” – so she hands me a couple of pairs of jeans and off to the dressing room I go.

I put them on – and viola – like a glove.

The inseam is perfect. The waist is perfect. The cut, perfect.

Like any normal 9 ft tall girl, I grab up four pair (in various shades, I do have some sense) and pay the bill – $221.79.

I really can’t tell you how awesome it is to have jeans that fit. It’s not something I’m used to – as a tall girl with a more curvy body.

Well – I should have known it was to good to be true. Isn’t it always?

In November, I go to Lane Bryant in my local mall, go to the corner where the “Right Fit” jeans are and start hunting for my (now smaller) size. I look, I dig, I look some more. The sales chick comes over and offers to help, so I tell her what I’m looking for and she looks at me and says, “Oh, I’m sorry, Lane Bryant doesn’t carry “Talls” in the store any more, you have to order them online”.

/deflate/

Apparently, the manager hears her and says, “Oh! I think I have a pair of those in the back, hang tight!” – so I hang.

She comes back with a pair in her hand and says, “Well, I do have the one pair, but we can go ahead and order another pair for you online and have them shipped to your house, no charge!”

“Great”

So – we do it.

Then, three days later, after handing over my coupon to the store lady and paying for my purchase, I get an email telling me that the product I want is ‘out of stock’. I attempt to email and get some sort of canned response telling me to contact my local store.

I go to the store, where, you guessed it, they tell me to call Customer Service.

Ugh.

So, over the course of the next few months, I check the website to see if they’ve restocked their inventory – so I can order another pair of jeans – because let’s face it, you can only wear the same jeans over and over again for so long before people start talking (I kid, I’m still wearing my to-big-and-falling-off-my-big-ole-butt jeans – hey, they’re long enough).

Finally, I give in and email.

“I was told by the store employee that I can only order tall jeans from the website now, but you never have them in stock. Will this change soon?”

Several hours later, the response is less than helpful “We are sorry to disappoint our loyal customers, but unfortunately, we will no longer be carrying Right Fit jeans styles on our website.”

*cough*

Uh, ok.

So, I try again, “Will they be carrying them in stores? I ask, because the last few times I’ve tried to shop for jeans in store, they tell me all talls are now being sold online. Will the stores be carrying any tall jeans?”

I’m thinking, at this point, I have been pretty clear in my question – I NEED TALLS WHERE DO I GET THE STUPID THINGS!?!?

But, apparently, I was wrong, because folks – this reply totally threw me for a loop, “When you’re shopping in our stores, Lane Bryant sales representatives are a great resource. To find the Lane Bryant store nearest you, go to (Insert website URL here to store locator, which I refuse to link to).”

What…?

I had pretty much had it at this point and totally lost any self respect when I typed and sent the following: You people are absolutely useless…and by people I mean your completely ridiculous autoresponder that is to stupid to figure out what I’m really asking, thus responding with completely ridiculous suggestions. Consider me a customer lost – I’ll be sure to chat about my experience on my blog ”

I did get one other reply, 24 hours later, poor Francisco must have been really frustrated – because his reply is…well, here, “We do apologize for the inconvenience right now in the right fit merchandise in a RED 6T we only have three pants in our ware that carry your size you are looking for but for the stores we don’t have any information on what stores carry in there inventory”

Poor Francisco. I didn’t have the heart to reply.

But, I did tell them I would blog – and here we are. I still don’t know if Lane Bryant will be carrying Tall Jeans either in their store or online. I thought it was a rather simple question to get an answer to – but apparently, I was wrong.

I am generally willing to overlook poor selection if the customer service is great – but poor selection + poor customers service? No thanks. I’ll sew my own frickin jeans before I step foot in another Lane Bryant.

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