Random Tuesday Around The Interwebs…

So, from time to time, I like to Google random things so that when the old man comes up behind me to see what I’m doing, he’ll bust out laughing.

Tonight was no exception.

I’d just gotten home from a hair appointment and bedtime was looming, so I asked all the required question, “Everyone showered?” and “Kid, is your room clean?!” – of course, the collective answer was, as I expected, “No” – so I put on my mean wife/mom pants and started barking orders like any seasoned wife/mom does – then sat down and Googled “how can i get my husband to help around the house” – ya know, just to yank his chain some.

Like any self respecting internet user, I have some sites I just don’t visit – so results one and four were out. Result two was on a site centered around babies and while my fellas may act like babies from time to time – they aren’t – so that one was out too.

The fourth result is about as reliable as a gypsy paving company – so I skipped them too…seriously, Yahoo answers?

Anyway – so I thought I might have struck gold with the fifth result. I mean, it’s called “Wise Geek” – how could I go wrong.

The name should have been some sort of indication of the type of article this was going to be.

First, I must warn you, because some of you don’t know me in real life – but I am a fairly self-assured woman who subscribes to the “Equal Partners” mentality in a relationship. We both do half. Of everything…most of the time.

So, back to the article. Let me dissect and correct it for you.

It doesn’t actually get good until paragraph 2, so we’ll start there.

Many times, husbands don’t realize you need help, unless you ask. The biggest problem with many couples is that both people don’t always see the same mess. Try making a honey-do list and let him know when you would like it to be completed. If you don’t give him a timeline, he may put it off as long as possible.

Ah, I see – so in order for me to get something done around the house, I actually have to treat my husband like a child and then, create more work for myself in the form of list making? Dang…what was I thinking!?

If it feels like your husband just won’t help around the house, talk to him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel when the brunt of the housework is left to you. Don’t use a condescending tone of voice when talking to him, as he may shut down and ignore you. No one wants to be talked to like a child.

Ok, got it – talk to him – but don’t talk to him like a child – just treat him like one. Check.

Consider what your husband does do to help around the house. Many times, when the going gets tough, a person only sees what needs to be done. Often times, what the husband has done to help goes unnoticed. Take a moment to reflect on what he did that week to help you and take it into consideration. He may have done yard work, changed the oil on the car, taken out the trash, or vacuumed.

Ah ha! The old “be grateful for what you get and shut up” attitude. Yes, Ok – so I should be thankful he took his dishes to the sink – even if I have to wash them. Got it…next?

Make sure your expectations aren’t too high. Husbands often work a lot and can’t really help around the house as much as their wives want them to. If he comes home exhausted after a long hard day, helping around the house may not be an option. Consider the extra income he is bringing home when you get frustrated.

Ok – so I am assuming at this point we’re dealing with a ‘stay at home wife’ and a ‘working husband’ – but either way, working or staying at home, the job of keeping up a house is hard and shouldn’t fall on the shoulders of one person…but either way, working or staying at home – this is lame. Lame, lame lame!

If you really feel that your husband isn’t pulling his fair share of work around the house, then he needs to know. Try writing it down, if you have trouble explaining it to him verbally. Let him know that you are serious about things needing to change. Let him know exactly what is expected of him, so he doesn’t have to try to read your mind.

More work for the unwitting wife yet again! Not to mention we’re back to treating him like a child. Do husband’s leave their keen observation skills at the alter once married? Why is it up to the wife to ask for help? Of course he’s not a mind reader you moron – if he were, we’d be millionaires and we’d hire a housekeeper. Stupid.

And of course, the final paragraph piles it all back on the wife, yet again:

Most husbands really are good guys who just don’t realize their wives need help around the house. Maybe the wives look like they have it under control or the house just doesn’t look like it needs to be cleaned. Whatever the reason, they need to help around the house, as they help dirty it. It may just take a little nudging on your part.

Apparently, if you do to good of a job, they can use this lame-ass excuse that you just look like you have everything under control.

Freakin please. This article HAS to have been written by a man. Most likely an unmarried man, if he believes this crap.

Anyway – so it worked by the way – the old man comes up behind me and laughs and I start reading it out loud to everyone in my best “Pollyanna Wife” voice – we got a good chuckle – so I thought you might too.

Enjoy