I’ve tried to do some research on what questions to ask, but the bottom line is, I don’t even really know what the stinkin heck is wrong with me. I’ve heard the word ‘transplant’ so many times over the course of the last few weeks that I’m freaked out beyond measurable words – but at the same time, I can’t really get a definitive answer on what is causing the ‘damage’ to start with – a question, I would think, would be important to know the answer to before you leap into a transplant and replace an organ that could end up with the same type of damage from the same unknown disease later on down the road.
*Deep breath* sorry about the run-on-sentence-from-hell.
I’m a little freaked.
On one hand, I worry that the Dr.’s are stabbing in the dark at what might be the cause of all of this – because they’ve honestly told me they have no answer. On the other hand, I figure they must know something about what is going on…something they aren’t telling me because of the litigious world we live in.
I don’t know. I’m scared. I rarely admit that. But I will admit it now. I am.
I started this blog last night – then this monsoon-ish thunderstorm rolled through and I thought it better to power down, so here we are this morning.
Over the course of the last few days, I’ve had some serious gut pain, which isn’t fun. I feel like every time I eat, I am gambling with the rest of my day and about half the time, I lose. Yesterday wasn’t as bad as the day before, however I did spend the entire day feeling like I got kicked in the gut, which isn’t a whole lot of fun, I have to tell ya.
I am stressed. I know this. I can tell by the dreams I’m having. I’m not sleeping well. I’m not eating well, because I’m scared to eat.
I just feel bleh and today’s blog post is me getting it out – because I want to be clear headed and ask the right questions today.
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*big huge hugs*
I am thinking of you Brandy.